Yegods. America's a crappy place to be these days. Military actions...snipers...the teaching of creationism (as our guidebook says, they should take a long meandering walk through the natural history museum...folks, it's real). More violence is planned for our landlady. She of Infinite Evil or the Laziest Person Alive. She made me take out her trash. Lauren's mum is here and that's nice. But gotta go.

Jonathan is planning a trip for me to the Lake District! he wants to hire a car...a driving trip through the English countryside...mere pipe dreams as of now but we'll see.

Saw, eerily enough, a man wearing a Crimson and White BAMA sweatshirt. I was speechless and just sort of stared at the poor guy as he walked past. ah well
going now. bye

Under pressure...da da da da...last night I dreamed that the secret of the blue print of the entire was contained in a short pressing of "Mr. Roboto" 45s. and I had to find them all from atop a large rope swing that was attached from the sky. And I am completely off the crack.

My official departure date (shudder) is December 18th. I am not sure of Lauren's. You guys say hello to Stephen and co. from London.

I'm off now. Must get busy. adios. Also, I must look like the most harmless idiot wandering the streets of London because I get stopped for directions at every turn. They sort of grimace when I open my mouth and I want to laugh. haha, you london native just asked an idiot american for directions in your own city. how stupid they must feel. hahaha. okay. in other news, jonathan has big plans for taking me to a "football" match. he has season tickets. lookout joel, i am going to kidnap yr hooligan now. and i get to meet his friends this saturday (!!!) at a drinking-beer-watching-football extravaganza. i know nothing about nor really have ever cared to know anything about the sport. any tips? i am going to keep quiet and hope it's a high scoring game.

and let me just say...oh st. louis how you have fallen. may you be better than detroit and go 0-16. bless.

I believe his name is Vinnie Jones, began in the English Soccer League before becoming an actor. But He was Big Chris in "Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" and Bullet Tooth Tony in "Snatch" as well as many more movie appearances. So cool, go get his autograph or take a picture with him anyway, even if it isn't him.

HAHAHA I am not dead! Thanks, guys. You have got to be the single most random group of people I've ever met. Ever. Thanks, Ben. Our address for all interested parties and potential stalkers is:

181 Bravington Rd.
London, UK W9 3AP

Lauren has had many, many more marriage proposals and many a drunken Irish man has offered to leave his wife for her. Well, at least I think that's what he was saying. Lauren and I also (lauren caught this) think that one of the guys from Snatch comes in her pub. Sorry, I can't think of his name but I think he had lots of gold teeth. And, Leigh Ann, do me a huge favor and listen to the last track on some Badly Drawn Boy albumn (but not the abt a boy strk) and tell me if they sample from radio or something. See, Jonathan was a Radio One d.j. for three years and they sample his show on the last track of one of their c.ds. But I can't verify this.

Ashley aka Dame Edna is insane. Lauren and I were plotting flinging our poo out of our third story onto the windsheild of her car last night.

Ha ha...Jonathan took me out for curry on saturday but for my birthday he let me pick out whatever I wanted from a grocery store for dinner. I had canned corn, frozen pizza, and cottage cheese. He was horrified but it was good.

There are cool Donnie Darko promos up everwhere here. can't go anywhere without running into that creepy rabbit. Has it not come out here at all? Anyone know?

And family, don't despair, i am doing culturally inspired things when i can. Jonathan (third time i've mentioned him??) took me to Hampstead Heath on Sunday. We saw John Keats' house but it was closed for renovations. Nevertheless I saw the tree he supposedly sat under to write "Ode to a Nightengale." The Heath itself is 220 acres of beautiful, beautiful green land. From Parliament Hill you can see the skyline of London and because of some antiquated law you can see St. Paul's as well. There was also this really tall, kinda spooky hill with a fence around it. I drug Jonathan up there and stood in awe. I told him that it felt like the kind of place that a knight would be charged with some noble but deadly course of action. He rolled his eyes and told me I needed to get out more. As it turns out, some famous queen is buried there. and she died in a noble action. so there.

i had a splendid birthday. watched casablanca with jonathan. neither of us had seen it. and he bought me radiohead's "the bends" and Tess of the D'Urbervilles.

have to go now. love ya!

get thee to a nunery

good luck on 22 trisha!